I’ve always considered myself a male chauvinist,
but I get along quite harmoniously with the feminist me.
But tonight me and the feminist me got into a fight.
(1)
I’ve always considered myself a male chauvinist,
but I get along quite harmoniously with the feminist me.
But tonight me and the feminist me got into a fight.
(2)
After finishing cooking, I tasted each dish.
It tasted pretty good honestly, just the presentation wasn’t particularly nice.
I melancholily thought:
“If only I were a girl, I’d just find a rich guy in the future and spend all day researching how to cook.”
At this moment, the feminist me suddenly jumped out: “It’s wrong to think this way!”
While being startled I realized the logical hole hidden in my words,
and hastily explained guiltily: “No no no, even if I were a guy I’d find someone rich…”
The feminist me saw through my bluff and pointedly said: “Subconsciously you don’t think that way.”
The dignity left on a man’s mouth made it impossible for me to back down, so I countered:
“Then I’ll just find one who can cook, I’ll go earn money for the family, that work?”
The feminist me immediately replied:
“You can’t think that way. Only after a woman herself chooses that she wants to cook, can you think that way.”
My eyes were filled with skepticism (don’t ask how I know my own eyes, real men never look in mirrors)
“So you mean if I’m a guy, according to feminism, I can’t hope my girl can cook, but if I’m a girl and I hope I myself can cook, that’s okay, and that’s feminist?”
The feminist me stared at me, thought for a moment: “Yes.”
I took a step back, deploying a
The feminist me followed up immediately with a <Sky’s the Limit>: “Yes, feminism is actually equal rights — you read Weibo well.”
I immediately threw a combo <Chariot 5 Forward 1>
To my surprise, the feminist me only needed one move
“You as an individual can think this way, but with this idea, you’ll basically die alone.”
(3)
Maybe it’s because the moves were too fancy, maybe it’s because the openings were too uncrackable, or maybe it’s because “ant tries to shake a tree” — anyway, after a moment of distraction I found I was on the losing side.
So I put down my chopsticks and restarted the game:
“Suppose I’m a girl, and I’m male-chauvinist, I want my husband to be great and me to be subordinate, how about that?”
“If you were a girl…”
The moment the feminist me opened her mouth I let out a breath of relief, glad she didn’t counter with “you can’t possibly be a girl.”
On this question I really can’t argue,
after all just a few weeks ago I learned that the stockings I’d always lusted after actually included leggings too.
In that instant, I went from a pervert who “likes stockings” to a sucker who “likes leggings.”
But still, leggings actually look pretty good too, the key is still the legs.
“If you were a girl, you wouldn’t think this way.” The feminist me told me concisely.
I can’t argue with this question either.
Because if we continue this question, it would become “you’re not Zhuangzi, you don’t know whether the fish in Huizi’s eyes know what they’re thinking,”
and eventually it would turn into “Zhuangzi // please forward this lucky koi.”
I looked at the gradually cooling food and the gradually disappearing hunger, and realized I needed to clear the leftovers first
“Let me go to the kitchen”
“Oh” the feminist me replied.
(5)
“Why did you take so long?” the feminist me noticed I’d taken a while
“What can I do, when one person cooks two-person meals it’s tiring cleaning up, what were we just saying.” I sat down patting my belly.
“We were just saying if you were a girl, you’d definitely also support feminism.”
I was a bit unconvinced: “Are all girls feminists? Like if I had a son, I’d hope my future daughter-in-law would be good to him, cook for him, take good care of him — is that also not allowed?”
“Indeed, there are many such mother-in-laws in real life, so the feminist movement has a long way to go.” The feminist me sighed, looking very melancholy.
I was still unconvinced: “Even by feminist standards, not everything is equal. Carrying heavy things has to be the guy right? What about being drafted in war? Definitely the guys right, and they could die.”
The feminist me immediately pointed out the holes in my premise: “Feminism opposes war. Not just feminism, human rights also opposes war. The more developed civilization is, the less the possibility of war.”
After thinking, I figured the feminist me probably hadn’t played Civilization, so I didn’t pursue it.
Also I hesitated about saying “possibility should be ’low’, not ’less’,” and didn’t say it out loud.
Seeing my hesitation, the feminist me deployed her ultimate weapon:
“What you just said are indeed disadvantages for males, but those happen rarely, while females have to give birth too.”
After hearing this, although I had a string of “wasn’t it said that having kids was your choice? Wasn’t it said that choosing to give birth means choosing the responsibility?” “Wasn’t it said that women aren’t birthing machines?” “Can guys not need feminism once they can give birth too?” questions, in the end I didn’t speak them out, and just nodded in agreement.
Because I suddenly thought of my mom — if she were more feminist she’d definitely live more freely, wouldn’t have to care so much about me.
(6)
After a quiet moment, I asked the feminist me:
“Actually our conversation has been pretty scientific, why did I keep feeling like I was going to fight with you?”
The feminist me took a deep breath and sighed:
“I don’t want to fight either. Probably because the whole community is more radical, many people’s view is that the louder you shout, the more people wake up — I don’t agree with this view either. But what can you do, after all Schindler was only made into a film after the war ended, so many things need to be looked at slowly.”
I couldn’t help agreeing: “Yeah, the Count of Monte Cristo also said it — waiting and hope.”
After the atmosphere relaxed, the dignity left on a man’s mouth made me jump out again:
“But I still don’t agree with feminism, I’m still very male-chauvinist. I think women should be a bit gentle, this way people of different genders can develop their own strengths to the maximum. Actually feminism and masculinism should be like pigs and donkeys in the new year goods — anyway I don’t agree with masculinism. Maybe I even have a virgin complex!”
The feminist me looked at me and smiled: “ツ It’s okay, I have a male-virgin complex too.”